My secret sin

My Secret Sin

I was a very fervent sister in the church , I was among the choristers, the evangelism unit as well as an active member in the prayer cell. I was popularly known as mummy GO (General Overseer) by my friends and neighbours because of the way I’m always busy with Church activities. Nonetheless, there was a secret sin that I’ve been struggling with.

Every Sunday I would always be in the church way before service starts. Most times, I arrive before the ushers, I was practically the one leading the church music band almost every Sunday. Our Choir Director was of the opinion that each time I lead the praise or worship session, the Spirit of God literally descends. Yet, I knew deep down that I was struggling with a secret sin. Almost every night, I would cry and wish for the day I would be totally free from this dirty secret sin.

Sometimes, I even get to promise myself that I won’t take part in church activities anymore. But each time I make this decision it seemed that’s exactly when my Music Director would want me to lead the worship or praise session. Many times, I thought of telling my friends or any one that would at least listen to me but I always changed my mind because I was ashamed of how they would look at me afterwards.

At other times, I would promise myself that I would never do it again, but each time I find myself alone, I can’t just help myself but do it.

Do you want to know what this sin was?

It was so dirty that sometimes, I see my self as the most dirty person on earth! I thought I would never be free, I wanted to give up on my Christian faith. By the way, what is the essence of being busy with God’s work when I knew I won’t make heaven because of my secret sin , I was busy but guilty!!!

I wrote a letter which I wanted to give to my pastor telling him I’ve resigned from being a worker in the church. I kept the letter inside my bag so I wouldn’t forget it when going to church for Bible study that Tuesday evening. However, when I got to the church that evening I changed my mind. Do you know the reason why?

To be continued!

Also Read: What Makes the Followers of Jesus Extraordinary?

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