My Secret Sin (Final Part)
I wanted to open it right away but curiosity got the best of me so I decided to peep through the window first to see who it was. Lo and behold it was my pastor and my choir director. My God I knew there was trouble!!
I quickly opened the door and let them in; I greeted them and apologized for not letting them in on time. They both nodded in understanding and sat down on the plastic chairs which were rightly positioned at my sitting room.
After few minutes of silence, my pastor was the first to speak, he wanted to know why I was absent in the church service that morning and the entire week. I told him I didn’t have any particular reason. Although, I knew he didn’t believe me, I still chose to stick to what I had already told him.
Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to back down from getting to the bottom of what I was trying to hide. I am very sure that something is wrong because you’re a consistent member, he said. So after the service, the Lord told me to come directly to your house and to make sure I see you before going home, he gave me some messages for you” those were exactly the words my pastor used.
I was afraid because I thought God must have told him about my secret sin too. I was relieved when I heard his next statement which was “God only gave me a message for you, he didn’t really tell me about the problem you’re going through, I guess he wants you to tell me yourself”.
After much persuasion from my choir director, I finally opened up to them, maybe that was why I heard that voice earlier I thought. So I told them about my secret sin which I’ve never shared with anyone in my life. I felt so ashamed after I was done telling them.
My pastor didn’t a utter a word after I was done, I only saw him bringing out his Bible from his bag. Then he told me to also bring out mine. I went inside to get mine, I opened the book of James 2:20 as instructed by my pastor, then he told me to read it out audibly. ” Wilt thou know oh vain man that faith without work is dead” he instructed me to read it over and over again which I di
After reading the said portion, he asked me to sit down, I obeyed, so, he continued, “do you also know that works without faith is dead” I was mute because I’ve never heard that before, he continued ” God told me that you believe you can be saved by works but you lack faith.
You believe being busy in God’s vineyard alone can save you, but you don’t even have an iota of faith that God can completely set you free, you’ve even started thinking it is impossible for God. You think it will just happen automatically, you lack faith, you’ve even started doubting if God can completely set you free”
I broke down in tears as soon as he was done speaking, I knew I was guilty of all he said, I knew I lacked faith , I knelt down beside my chair and started praying for forgiveness, I prayed to God to increase my faith.
My pastor stood up from his chair and walked to where I was kneeling ” it is not he that willeth nor him that runneth but God that showeth mercy, it is not by power, not by might but by my spirit says the lord, do you believe God can completely save you now” my pastor said, I answered “yes, I believe God can save me now, I believe I can be totally free now”. My pastor held my hands and prayed for me, that day was my day of freedom.
This happened 20 years ago and since then I’ve been serving God wholeheartedly and joyfully without that secret sin anymore. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what the sin was, it’s best left unsaid.
Finally, today I would like to ask you this question, is there any secret sin you’re struggling with? Do you really believe you can be free? Remember that faith without works is dead, also works without faith is dead. God would set you free today, if you really desire to serve him wholeheartedly, do not think it will work automatically for you! Remember it’s not by power, nor by might but by my spirit says the Lord. Confess your sins today. Pour out your heart to God and you will be free!!
Ehinomhen Eboh is an undergraduate student of Ambrose Ali University, Ekpoma, Nigeria. She loves writing poems, inspiring Christian fictions and true-life stories/experiences.
